Every so often I have a hard time thinking of something to write about on here, or deciding on a movie, album, book, or theatrical production to reflect back on. I’ve now written a little under a hundred posts, most of them longform, in a little over thirteen years. Not so prolific I suppose, even given that I’m being fairly selective about what I choose to spotlight on here. I hesitate at this point even to call it a blog. Is it a blog? Was it ever? Maybe we just have such wide and easy access now to so many movies, songs, books, and recorded performances that it just gets overwhelming trying to decide what’s worth paying attention to anymore. I feel like most of my life, or at least my aesthetic life, has been one long exercise in trying to turn down the volume of the white noise and static that contemporary culture continually generates, in order to find and focus on the stuff that’s worthwhile, or at least speaks to me in some way at that moment in time.
I think perhaps that task was more enjoyable or less annoying when physical media surrounded us because I spent hours browsing in record shops, video stores, bookstores, libraries, and sometimes I still do, though less frequently these days. Even though I’ve always loved being able to hold artifacts in my hands, they can get lost or broken, nicked or scratched, gather dust, get damaged by sunlight or water or other elements, in spite of being as careful as possible with anything I handle. Really think about the word “lossless.” Nothing is actually lossless. Whenever each of us eventually goes, it’s all permanently lost, at least to us. What will happen to the library of books and CDs and DVDs and memorabilia I’ve accumulated after I die? Will I be fortunate enough to have the foresight to donate it to a good library, where somebody can slap a plaque with my name on the door of a quiet little room in memory of me? Or if I die suddenly, will it all just end up in a Dumpster since I have no family to rescue the ephemera that I’ve collected? Will I be lucky to have someone to oversee my estate if anybody deems any of what I’ve written or gathered worthy of keeping? I’m a little stunned by the number of albums and books and posters and programs and concert tickets that I’ve had autographed and inscribed by various kinds of artists over my past three decades of living here in Boston, some of them quite famous, some of them mostly unknown. Several hundred of them at this point I’d estimate. Without physical media, which is clearly where things are now headed, you won’t have any of that.
Walter Benjamin’s famous 1935 philosophical essay “The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction” kind of foresaw it all, of course: “Even the most perfect reproduction of a work of art is lacking in one element: its presence in time and space, its unique existence at the place where it happens to be.” Not unlike human beings, who can be “reproduced” in the biological sense but never replicated. I went down the long rabbit hole of somebody’s blog a few weeks back, a woman whose handsome young son had killed himself almost totally unexpectedly just before graduating from high school about fifteen years ago, whose bodily presence could never be replaced. She was clearly grappling with how to let go of him in post after post after post, and trying to rationalize his death intellectually, but it became increasingly clear that she couldn’t. By the time the French movie The Artist came out in 2011, she was posting photos of its charismatic leading man, Oscar winner Jean Dujardin, beside photos of her son to show the resemblance: the face of someone whom her son might have grown up to look like had he stayed alive. Bittersweet to read about but mostly quite sad.
That which cannot be replaced. Earlier today I couldn’t find in my apartment (despite being as super-organized as I am) my copy of Peter Gabriel’s 2000 CD OVO: The Millennium Show. I wanted to listen to “Downside-Up,” a song on the album that features vocals by Elizabeth Fraser of Cocteau Twins and Paul Buchanan of The Blue Nile, and whose lyrics eerily seem to predict exactly what unfolded on September 11 a year later, when late capitalism came crashing to the ground. No matter that I couldn’t find the CD because I could simply listen to not just the album track on YouTube, but also watch a YouTube video of an excellent live performance of the song backed by an orchestra as it was recorded on Jools Holland’s TV show on the BBC back then. Shades of Jacques Derrida’s Archive Fever. Derrida long argued in his philosophical texts that everything and everyone leaves a trace, a riot of traces, so that from the very inception of human language and understanding, nothing ever truly gets entirely erased, not even in “the absence of a presence.” The older I get, the more I think our seeming immortality through the objects we create and acquire and possess only highlights our mortality and how easily we can and will disappear, except perhaps as echoes of energy, or maybe ideas if we’re lucky.
Walter Benjamin also gets a bit spiritual in his meditation on physical reproductions of artworks when he considers the importance of the original object’s “aura,” which he wonders whether could ever be carried forth in a reproduction. Film, of course, is the medium that challenges this notion because of the human capacity to see and remember. We replay scenes from films over and over again in our minds, and the most indelible or mysterious or methodical or meticulous ones get absorbed into the vast imaginative machinery of film history, endlessly replicated, imitated, re-imagined, defiled. Benjamin’s central point is that reproducible physical media led to “a tremendous shattering of tradition which is the obverse of the contemporary crisis and renewal of mankind,” a shift that also “emancipates the work of art from its parasitical dependence on ritual.” Many people today still love attending cinemas, concerts, museums, and theatrical productions, just as I do, though the feeling of participating in a ritual has obviously become strained and diluted by commerce over time, and also by a slow death of community that’s (no surprise) coincided with the gradual demise of physical media. One might mention the resurgence in the popularity of vinyl records as CDs are currently on the wane, though I think that’s mostly a novelty or a fluke. I should have known and did sort of see the doom on the horizon when I overheard some crazy-eyed guy in the late ’90s blaring non-stop in an aisle of Tower Records in Harvard Square about how vinyl would make a real comeback someday…he just knew it! (Sure, revive the most easily scratchable medium that gets played with a needle. Crazy is as crazy does.) I also recall watching a documentary about Tower Records in which Elton John referred to the closure of Tower Records as one of the greatest tragedies of his life, from the point-of-view of a lover of music, not just as a musician himself.
The truth is probably that we’re just making marks in time, marks that fade with time, even if some of our individual marks take longer to fade than others. Echoes of old songs on radio stations, scenes from films that everybody knows or that hardly anybody on the planet has seen, poems etched in stone or jotted down hastily and stashed away in the back of a desk drawer. It might be closer to the truth of the mystery to think about the infinity of created things that never get found, never get heard, never get seen, except by their makers. On the flipside of the reassuring heft of physicality is an untraceable ghost.